Thinking ahead

I’m going to make a little list. The following are topics I think I’m going to address with Whore-Hay this Wednesday. I don’t want to get to his office and go off half cocked on 40 different issues. Since “Productivity” is my word of the month, “Prioritize“ is following in close second. I mean, how can someone be productive without priorities? Yep, that’s what I’m gonna do. So what’s been on my mind?

1/ How come every time one of my coworkers tells me they love me or tries to give me a hug (no, I’m not shitting you) my reaction is panic and anger evoking a strong desire to cram my finger down my throat and forcibly vomit on them? Don’t vultures do that? You know, projectile vomit their last road kill dinner on predators as a form of self defense?

2/ Why do I frequently fantasize about being a ninja? Is it wrong to feel ninjariffic in a vengeance-y sort of way?

3/ I think in future sessions we may need to discuss my ‘anger issues’. But I’d like to give a heads up on what I’m dealing with here. I was at the convenience store the other night picking up sodas. Long story short it ended in me launching a Coke at a drunken penis wrinkle’s head while screaming incoherent obscenities at the top of my lungs. What set off this craze? He stumbled up to me, arms out stretched in a “I’m gonna touch your boobies” pose while talking shit (“baby” this and “baby” that) in a mixture of Spanish and English. I told him to fuck off but he kept coming at me. I was steady walking backward warning him not to touch me and he kept coming. I honestly don’t remember everything. I just wanted to buy sodas and go along my merry little way but ended up screaming, throwing shit and his friends (scared shitless) dragged his drunk, stupid ass out of the store. So anyway, the ‘fear/anger induced rage semi-blackout’ should probably be addressed. I see anger management in my future.

In an ocean of issues that make me my perky, happy little self- those are the first three issues that come to mind. Sure there’s more important shit to be discussed but hell, it’s my first visit; I don’t want to scare the snot out of poor Whore-Hay right from the get go.

That ocean of issues needs to be carefully surveyed and eased into, like a warm bath.