Thoughts on an ass invasion.
Ladies, please don't think that strip of cloth or elastic sticking out from under your hipster jeans (often referred to as a “Whale Tail”) looks anything but dumb and tacky! Really, you lose IQ points for revealing your strings in public. So unless you're a Victoria's Secret lingerie model and you're on an actual runway, you look just plain stupid when it's hanging out there or you bend over and expose it.
Thongs, T-Backs and G-Strings are all known to me as “Anal Floss”. Here are the pro’s and con’s as I see them.
(Big) Pro: No panty line.
Pro: Can be very comfortable.
Pro: Can look cute/sexy. (When worn properly.)
Con: Being cheap when purchasing anal floss results in chaffage.
Con: Sisqo’s dumbass song about them.
Con: For anal floss newbies the constant atomic weggie feel. (P.S. There’s nothing cute about picking your ass in public, regardless of how “subtle” you think you’re being. In reality you’re as unnoticed as a cat dragging it’s ass across the carpet in front of company.)
Con: Sometimes a cottage cheesy ass hanging out isn’t a good thing. (And no, those aren’t called “dimples” it's called “cellulite”.)
Con: A worry to wear during menses (Up until a thong/menses genius came up with Always Alldays thong pantiliners that is.)
Con: Vaginal and bacterial infections, UTI’s, hemorrhoids and lacerations of the anus. (Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I want to hear from my GYN, “Your anus is lacerated.”)
Do I own anal floss? Yes. Why, with all of the cons I just listed? Because of the first big pro. I don't want to sport my panty lined ass around town when I'm wearing form fitting jeans or slacks. That being said, it should also be noted that a good number of men will agree that too little can be a turn-off. I find under the right circumstances bikini or tanga panties can be far more sexy and erotic, they have an air of naive innocence about them. If you're going to wear anal floss with the sole reasoning of "panties are cumbersome" all I have to say is "Hell, whatever happened to going commando?"