I'm not crazy, I'm just a little "unwell"
I'm not right in the head, I fully admit it (sometimes embrace it) and take partial responsibility for it. Why partial? Because I was predisposed to some of it. My mother was certifiable (at times) and my dad is a genius (when he's not holding conversations with the cats). Now let me clearly state that I don't say that mom was nuts because I didn't like her. She really was a little "off". She was bi-polar, a terrible alcoholic, suicidal, violent and some suspected she had multiple personality disorder. She was all of these things when she wasn't (on the rare occasion) acting completely normal, mind you. My mother's parent's were real bad alcoholics too so there's a history that goes quite a ways back. I also don't say that my dad is a genius because I think he's really smart. He actually tests above genius....what's that old saying? "There's a fine line between genius and insanity."
Krazy K (my sister) turned out to be just like our mom and not just in looks alone. She's super incredibly irresponsible and in general a very unstable person, add alcoholism to the mix and a nasty temper and you've got yourself an extremely dangerous personality. Me? I followed more in my dad's footsteps. Don't get me wrong I picked up a lot from my mom, the addictive personality for starters. But as a general, I'm much more like my father. Krazy K makes sure to tell me that every time we speak.
In the meantime as I type this I peek out of the window into the backyard where dad is in the process of creating a hydroponic garden. He is currently "playing" in the birdbath. No, I'm not joking. I got up and leaned out the back door. "Dad, what are you doing?" He looked startled and a little embarrassed, "Uh, nothing." I'm not convinced "Dad, why are you playing in the birdbath?" he said "Well, I was cleaning it out and then I thought it'd be cool for the birds if I attached a little pump that shot water up in a spray." I said, "Uh, so you want to turn the birdbath into a shower? You know they sell birdbath attachments at the hardware store." He said in a very matter of a fact way, "Yeah, but I've already figured out how I want to do it. You know, a real neat design. Come here." At this point he pulls out a note pad and pencil that he keeps in his shirt pocket at all times and starts drawing a blueprint of the new custom 'bird shower'. "Uh dad, I really don't feel too good and am going back to bed. You might want to finish your hydroponics before you go re-vamping the birdbath." He said, "Oh yeah, I was just taking a break."
Back to the point, so if Krazy K were to be arrested (which she has been) it'd be for beating the shit out of someone or starting a fight (which it was). If I were to get arrested (which I haven't been) it'd be for something really heinous, like picking a bunch of people off or really stupid, like throwing my neighbors dog poo on his car (because his dog won't quit crapping on my lawn and I hate running over it with the lawn mower). She'd end up in prison, I'd end up in the state mental ward.
Where exactly am I going with this? I'm not sure if I'm actually nuts or just a little too honest. K would have you believe that I should have been locked in a little padded room well before our mother died (a few of my former therapists would agree with her). My friends, father and husband would have you believe that I'm a little eccentric and at the most should just be on meds (which at times I am). I think that I'm too honest. When asked what I'm thinking regardless of how sick, sad, deranged, weird etc. it is, I'll say it without hesitation (or forethought), which tends to freak people out.
Krazy K (my sister) turned out to be just like our mom and not just in looks alone. She's super incredibly irresponsible and in general a very unstable person, add alcoholism to the mix and a nasty temper and you've got yourself an extremely dangerous personality. Me? I followed more in my dad's footsteps. Don't get me wrong I picked up a lot from my mom, the addictive personality for starters. But as a general, I'm much more like my father. Krazy K makes sure to tell me that every time we speak.
In the meantime as I type this I peek out of the window into the backyard where dad is in the process of creating a hydroponic garden. He is currently "playing" in the birdbath. No, I'm not joking. I got up and leaned out the back door. "Dad, what are you doing?" He looked startled and a little embarrassed, "Uh, nothing." I'm not convinced "Dad, why are you playing in the birdbath?" he said "Well, I was cleaning it out and then I thought it'd be cool for the birds if I attached a little pump that shot water up in a spray." I said, "Uh, so you want to turn the birdbath into a shower? You know they sell birdbath attachments at the hardware store." He said in a very matter of a fact way, "Yeah, but I've already figured out how I want to do it. You know, a real neat design. Come here." At this point he pulls out a note pad and pencil that he keeps in his shirt pocket at all times and starts drawing a blueprint of the new custom 'bird shower'. "Uh dad, I really don't feel too good and am going back to bed. You might want to finish your hydroponics before you go re-vamping the birdbath." He said, "Oh yeah, I was just taking a break."
Back to the point, so if Krazy K were to be arrested (which she has been) it'd be for beating the shit out of someone or starting a fight (which it was). If I were to get arrested (which I haven't been) it'd be for something really heinous, like picking a bunch of people off or really stupid, like throwing my neighbors dog poo on his car (because his dog won't quit crapping on my lawn and I hate running over it with the lawn mower). She'd end up in prison, I'd end up in the state mental ward.
Where exactly am I going with this? I'm not sure if I'm actually nuts or just a little too honest. K would have you believe that I should have been locked in a little padded room well before our mother died (a few of my former therapists would agree with her). My friends, father and husband would have you believe that I'm a little eccentric and at the most should just be on meds (which at times I am). I think that I'm too honest. When asked what I'm thinking regardless of how sick, sad, deranged, weird etc. it is, I'll say it without hesitation (or forethought), which tends to freak people out.
Labels: The Freak Gene
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2 Thoughts On The Subject
Crazy? Eccentric? Adds personality. Your dad sounds fun to hang around.
Eric
I come by it honestly.
He's nuts. A few 4th of July’s ago the neighbors across the street moved out...leaving their poor defenseless mailbox behind...It took me nearly an hour to talk him out of blowing it up. You know, that whole against federal law thing.
He built a parabolic dish two summers ago with the sole intent of burning out the top of the neighbors tree because it was screwing up his satellite reception. Did I mention that he’s an ordained minister? I shit you not!
All of my girlfriends have adopted him as their dad. Rain is 45, my friend and calls him for advise.
Yeah, he’s a blast to hang around.
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