Surreptitious Psychosis
A Peek In My Head...

Putting the "fun" in disfunctional since 1978!

Name: Aza
From: Florida, United States

I reject your reality and substitute my own

More Useless Crap To Know About Me

100+ Things

Who The Hell Is She Talking About!?

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IM: Surreptitious_Psychosis (yahoo)

The Other Day I Said...

*tap, tap, tap*

Pass the Depends please…

Dinner for 10 (small villages)...

Wow, I really needed that!

Hell hath no fury like an Aza scorned!

And you thought you had it rough!

Who turned on the cool?

Thanks for nothing Fay! And an open letter to a sc...

A sad day for comedy indeed

Another post about ta-ta's

Going Retro

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*Still Under Construction*

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    Monday, April 28, 2008

    I'm Hit!

    I have been tagged by Will Tone over at Brother In Blue with the “weird” meme. All I can say is, Dude, if I didn’t dig your blog, I so wouldn’t do this.

    The rules are as follows: Simply link to the person who tagged you (see above). SHARE SEVEN WEIRD things about yourself (see below). Tag SEVEN bloggers to do the same AND include a link to their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged and finally post the rules on your blog (that would be this paragraph).

    1.) My best friend is a cop. I take tons of pictures of him and his coworkers. I plan on sending them to Fox with the request that they create a show called “World’s Most Shocking LEO Pictures” or “Cops Gone Wild”.

    2.) I frequently make odd and strange noises randomly at home and in public.

    3.) I’ve wrangled chickens. It’s a long story.

    4.) I have a creepy obsession with the movie “Kung Pow!”, I chalk it up to my OCD.

    5.) Kojak lives right next door to a fire station. When he first moved in I baked treats for them every weekend. After a few months he told me I wasn’t allowed to bake for them until they showed a little more appreciation for my efforts.

    6.) I watch the NFL channel more than most men.

    7.) I get incredibly car sick if I ride in the back seat, even for short distances.

    If those aren’t enough, there’s always my first meme and if you are hankerin’ to know a butt load of weird things about me there’s my 100+ list.

    So I’m tagging the following amazingly awesome super rockin’ bloggers…

    Latté Girl @ Inner Dialogues
    Eric @ The Noisy Cakehole
    Tuna Girl @ Tuna Girl
    Lushy @ Such A Pretty Face
    Kilroy_60 @ Fear And Loathing- The Gonzo Papers

    If ya don’t want to do it I’ll be super disappointed but I’ll totally understand. No pressure, right? If you’ve already done it, do it again with 7 new weird things. There are a few others I’d tag but they are lazy slackers, less likely to update their blogs than me (you know who you are).

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    Sunday, April 20, 2008

    Looks like the only time I post is when I’m sick

    Here was how today was supposed to go….

    5:00am- Get D off to work and go to sleep
    10:00am- Get up
    10:15am- Get dad up
    10:30am- Get a shower
    11:00am- Grab a snack
    11:15am- Get ready for Kojak’s award ceremony
    12:00pm- Boondoggle around
    12:30pm- Start bitching at dad to get in the car
    1:00pm- Leave for the award ceremony
    1:20pm- Arrive at award ceremony
    1:30pm- Watch Kojak get award
    2:00pm- Get some lunch with dad and Kojak before his shift starts
    3:00pm- Drop dad off
    3:30pm- Head to Kojak’s house to straighten up and get some laundry done (while harassing his cats) before his tattoo guy comes over Tuesday
    6:00pm- Come home
    6:30pm- Decide what everyone wants for dinner
    7:30pm- Get started on dinner
    9:00pm- Feed everyone
    10:00pm- Get started on chores around the house
    1:30am- Check email and watch a movie
    4:30am- Get ready for bed
    5:00am- Sleep

    Here’s how it has gone thus far…

    4:10am- Post on my blog while listening my tummy serenade “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”
    4:45am- Doze off feeling rather queasy
    5:00am- D wakes me up as he’s getting ready for work. Feeling really queasy
    6:00am- Sit bolt upright in bed. Bathroom, NOW!
    6:15am- Lay back down, thank God it’s over
    7:00am- Fall out of bed running for bathroom
    7:15am- Lay back down, thank God it’s over
    9:00am- Jump up and trip over cat running for bathroom
    9:15am- Lay back down and pray to God that it’s over
    10:00am- Tummy wakes me with odd noises
    10:05am- More praying
    10:10am- More praying
    10:15am- Cat scratches the hell out of me when I jump up and run for the bathroom
    10:30am- The cursing of the small bowel begins as prayers for it aren’t working
    11:00am- Small bowel responds to said curses with a little curse of it’s own “Get to the bathroom, NOW!!!”
    11:30am- Call Kojak
    11:45am- Slam foot in cabinet while running to the bathroom
    11:50am- Reset toe that is jammed up into my ankle
    12:00pm- Kojak calls
    12:15pm- It is decided that I will not be attending his award ceremony
    12:30pm- Dad leaves alone for ceremony
    12:45pm- Run from the living room to the bathroom destroying all in my way
    12:50pm- Call D asking if he’s experiencing anything similar. Have to leave a voicemail
    1:00pm- Kojak calls and I apologize for not attending. He says he’s had a similar tummy upset. I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone
    1:30pm- Gingerly sip Boost
    1:45pm- Decide to move into the bathroom as I’m sick of injuring myself running to it
    2:00pm- Curse. A lot
    2:20pm- Posting from my bathroom...

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    Random thoughts at 4:10 in the am

    4:10 to Yuma totally pissed me off. Why couldn’t it have been "Quarter after Yuma"? That's a way more interesting title because it makes even less sense than the movie. Oh wait, it was "No Country For Old Men" that pissed me off. Nevermind.

    How come more black people don’t play professional golf?

    My tummy hurts. Bad. It must have been the butter, dill doesn't disagree with me like this.

    I would buy a cheap set of clubs and learn to play golf if I weren’t so damned aggressive.

    What in the hell am I going to wear to Kojak’s award ceremony today? This guy needs to give the whole “nominated for everything under the sun” thing a rest. They should just give him the most awesome cop ever award and be done with it because I’m running out of suitable award ceremony attire ideas here. Why can’t I just go in my standard garb- jeans and a tee or sweats and a tank?

    The new wild cherry and mint crunch M&Ms just plain rock!

    Geez, pizza sure would be good right about now.

    If I had dentures I would totally intentionally gross people out with them. I’d think up new and creative ways to make people inadvertently touch them.

    I have got to finish 1 or 2 of the 800 half written posts I have collecting dust in my documents file.

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    Tuesday, April 15, 2008

    A little message I'd like to pass on to the IRS with my check...

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    Friday, April 11, 2008

    In honor of today’s scheduled events...

    I give you this.

    Let the torture probing (and TMI) begin!


    Wednesday, April 09, 2008

    I felt like you should probably know this…

    I’ve been busy. VERY busy. Kojak posts more about what’s going on in my world than I do- so if you want an update, go check out his blog. I’m still here, among the living dead, just busy. VERY busy.

    So when I stumbled across the below I felt that I should share this information immediately. This crap is vital!

    Top 10 Useless Body Parts
    By The Science Channel

    When you're sick you may feel that certain body parts are more trouble than they're worth. And in some cases, you'd be right. While the human body has evolved and adapted significantly since the caveman days, a few biological traces of our prehistoric ancestors still remain with us in the form of freeloading body parts we lug around with us, but have no use for. Take a gander at the top offenders!

    10. Plica semilunaris
    You may not know it, but you have a third eyelid. Pull open the two more noticeable eyelids and take a look -- it's located right in the corner by the tear duct. This small third eyelid is left over from what's known as a "nictitating membrane," which is still present in full form in some animals including chickens, lizards and sharks.

    9. Body hair
    No doubt we were once hairier. Up until about 3 million years ago, we were covered with body hair. But by the time Homo erectus arrived, the ability to sweat meant we could shed our woolly ways.

    8. Sinuses
    Doctors don't really know much about sinuses -- only that we have a lot of them. Possibilities for their function range from insulating our eyes to changing the pitch and tone of our voice.

    7. Adenoids
    Adenoids trap bacteria, but they're also prone to swelling and infection. Just ask any 7-year-old. Luckily, our adenoids shrink with age and are often removed, along with ...

    6. Tonsils
    Also prone to swelling and infection. If you still have them when you reach your 30's, it's almost an accomplishment.

    5. Coccyx
    More useful as a game-winning Scrabble word than as part of the anatomy, the coccyx or tailbone, is made up of several fused vertebrae left over from the olden days when we had tails.

    4. Arrector pili
    When we were hairier (see No. 9), the arrector pili made the hairs stand on end when we needed to appear bigger and scarier. Now, it just gives us goose bumps.

    3. Wisdom teeth
    Back in the day, when we ate mammoth meat off the bone and didn't floss afterward, our teeth tended to fall out. Therefore, when those reserve molars, aka "wisdom teeth," came in, they were welcomed. Nowadays, fluoride and dental plans have made them just a huge pain.

    2. Appendix
    Darwin claimed the appendix was useful for digestion during our early plant-eating years; it's dwindled down to little since we started eating more digestible foods.

    1. Male nipples
    Because, why?

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