Dinner for 10 (small villages)...

So my menu is less than traditional but who gives a crap? My guests will just have to understand 4 simple truths- 1/ It’s the holiday’s, I’m busy. 2/ It’s better than nothing. 3/ They’re welcome to feast on my craptastic always entertaining festive attitude. And 4/ There’s no bill at the end of the meal.

~Whore derves~

Awesome Pumpkin Spice Graham crackery dip (that I’m going to claim I made from scratch) to put on cookies - Check
Nilla Wafers and Ginger Snaps - Check
800 Deviled Eggs - Check
Enough sliced cheese to constipate an elephant - Check
Loads of those little “designer” crackers (that’ll make everyone think I’m classy) for cheese - Check
Triscuits (loaded with fiber- insert evil laugh here) and Wheat Thins in case people hate designer crackers - Check

~Mains & Sides~

Turkey - Check
Ham - Check
Metric ton of Stuffing - Check
5 gallons of Gravy - Check
Canned Yams (but I'm going to say I picked them myself) - Check
That Cranberry flavored gel crap in a can - Check
4 billion red potatoes for homemade mashed taters - Check
Boots to mash taters - Check
Creepy Cheesy broccoli rice casserole (that I’ll probably hate) - Check
Dinner Rolls - Check
Sweet Potato casserole - Check

~Dessert~

Pineapple Upside Down Cake - Check
Cupcakes - Check
Peach Pie (I’m also claiming I made from scratch) - Check

~Extras~

First Aid kit - Check
Pepto Bismol - Check
Prep H - Check
911 on speed dial - Check
Alibi - Check


Now I'm really poor. Happy Thanksgiving, you're not getting shit for Christmas!