It’s hard work!

As it turns out- raining hell, havoc and chaos in general down upon all those around me and working on total world domination tends to be incredibly time consuming projects. Sadly, I’ve not really accomplished as much as I‘d like given the amount of time invested. I’d love to report more but here’s all I’ve got for the moment…

~ I started a serious mutiny at work (then again, when is a work related mutiny involving me not serious?) I took a coworker in front of my boss, pointed at her and said “Unless, you promote her, I quit. I‘m sick of working under the tyranny of a 20 year old child!” The 20 year old child just happens to be on vacation right now.

~ Possibly (I say ‘possibly’ because she hasn’t returned any of my phone calls since Saturday so I’m not quite sure) really pissed off that same coworker a few days later when taking her and her husband out. Actually, taking them out didn’t piss her off- my husband pointing at her chest and shouting “Titties!” in a drunken stupor is most probably what did it.

~ Told an incredibly hot 24 year old Marine that I didn’t appreciate his physical or verbal advances and wouldn‘t tolerate them- then stormed off to retrieve my drunken husband and go home. WTF was I thinking!!!??? (Actually, in all honesty…if I were going to do something along those lines, it damn straight wouldn’t be with a 24 year old kid. I have more ‘seasoned’ tastes, if you will. Oh yeah, and I love D too- even though he is dangerously retarded.)

~ Speaking of more seasoned tastes…I’ve been wanting to post this pic forever now. It was taken last July when I‘d finalized my decision to dominate the world. I like to call it a “Marine Burrito” or “Aza’s personal Double Mint commercial”. But really it just establishes that I’ve got the Military backing me (well, all of them but a 24 year old douche bag that can‘t keep his hands to himself). My plans for world domination are coming along nicely, slowly but nicely.

300.........assholes!

We went to see 300 late Sunday night.

Now I remember why I hardly ever go to the theater and NEVER go to see a film opening weekend. People at movie theaters suck. They just freaking suck. They eat like pigs at trough, won’t shut the fuck up, accept and make cell phone calls/text messages during the movie, bring their 10 year olds to rated R films, half of them wouldn’t know a bar of soap if one was shoved up their smelly ass, the other half having bathed in cologne or perfume smell worse than French whores of the late 18th century, and in general they all just beg for a massive ass kicking.

300 is a two hour and ten minute film created by the folks who made Sin City. It was great!!!- violent, bloody, sexy, full of sweaty man parts, vicious….I loved it! It was a teeny-tiny bit chickish in some areas but the gratuitous sword/spear play, the detailed slow’moed chopping/hacking of blood spurting body parts made those few areas totally forgivable. In my ever so humble opinion, it was way better than Sin City cinematography-wise and completely made up for the chickfest Gladiator turned out to be story line-wise. Do NOT wait for it to be released to DVD; it is a theater "must see"!

My only complaint- I hated every single disrespectful, popcorn sucking, rude, loud talking, candy smacking, seat kicking, smelly asshole that was in the theater with me (which was all 300 of them) and wanted them all to take a shower, then drop dead so I could enjoy the movie in fresh smelling peace and quiet.

Otherwise, it was flipping awesome!!!

Early morning conversations...

After reading the supportive comments below, eating copious amounts of pills, random bawling spells, a touch of retail therapy and sleeping a lot….I’m feeling a bit better. Many thanks to the well wishers (and the manufactures of Klonopin, Zoloft and valerian). Sometimes rescue can be a real kick in the junk (especially when you work with animals that are already compromised)!

Oh, and yes, I’d be happy to adopt a little (but mighty) Dyck- assuming he‘s house trained.

And now I think I’d like to share a moment of retardation in the Aza household…

3am…

He says (while violently flipping the bathroom light switch): “Hey, I think the switch is broken!”

I say: It’s 3am leave it alone until tomorrow.

He says (while stomping into the bedroom to go to bed): “Damn switch”

9am…

I say to myself (while walking into the bathroom): *sigh* “I’m going to be so pissed if I have to replace that switch!”

I say to myself (while flipping said switch on and off once and going pee): “1- go to the hardware store and purchase a new switch. 2- cut main breaker. 3- replace switch. 4- triple check connections for safety. 5- turn main breaker back on. 6- and then there was light!"

I say to myself (while grimacing at my morning breath and walking into the kitchen): “Yeah, seems simple enough but you’ve got to account for Murphy.”

I say to myself (while searching for and finding a light bulb in the cleaning supply cabinet): *sigh* “Yep, Murphy’s law…when something goes wrong in this house it’s never a simple fix. Maybe I should buy extra stuff while I‘m at the hardware store.”

I say to myself (while changing the bathroom light bulb): “And corn for the squirrel feeders outside.”

I say to myself (while flipping the switch): “Oh! I can check the new herbs they’re getting in for my herb garden…this year that garden is gonna rock! I think I’ll start a strawberry bed too.”

I say to myself (as the light turns on): “Then again I could always go back to bed and gloat.....Heh, screw you Murphy!”

I say (now back in bed): “Hey ding-dong, there’s nothing wrong with the switch- the light bulb had blown”

He says: “*grumble*” (something unintelligible)

I say to myself (while rolling over to watch T.V.): “I sure am altruistic, considering I married a retard and all.”

Ever have one on those days where everything you eat turns to shit?

I’ve had one of those months.

So as most of you know I do a little rescue/rehab on the side when I’m forced into it (see label titled “Saving Grace“ in the left sidebar). I’m one of the only people around here who works with FeLV (feline leukemia) positive cats and doesn't just put them to sleep on the spot. FeLV cats can have many healthy and happy years of life when treated early and not exposed to FeLV negative cats. Mikey was one of those kitties.

Five years ago my dad and I were driving down a rural dirt road way out in the sticks when I spotted way up ahead a little dirty white and grey fluff ball sitting in the middle on the road. He stopped the car, I got out and called “Here kitty, kitty”. The dirty white and grey fluff ball came running at top speed down the road meowing. When he got to me he was just a breath of a kitten (maybe 9 weeks old), incredibly malnourished (God only knows how long he’d been out in those woods with no food- I suspect 3 or 4 days at least) filthy, covered in thorns, swarmed with fleas and starved. I got back in the car with him and as we began to turn around I heard a tiny meow from a nearby ditch. Yep, there were more, two more. One was just a baby, she was a brown tortie and the same size as the little white and grey one, the other was much older- probably 5 to 6 months. He was white and grey as well. All three kitties had been dumped in the middle of nowhere to fend for themselves. Which actually translates into "All three kitties had been dumped in the middle of nowhere to starve to death or get eaten by something." because that's exactly what would have happed if we'd not found them.

They were all in bad shape but after many vet visits, spays and neuters, some decent food and a safe, warm place to sleep they all started to come around health wise. Both of the babies- Mikey (the little dirty white and grey fluff ball) and Bonsai (the little tortie) tested FeLV positive but neither were showing symptoms. Obie (the older cat) came back negative.

Bonsai started showing symptoms after about two years and had to be put to sleep. Three weeks ago, after 5 years, Mikey started showing symptoms…

A few weeks ago he came down with a nasty head cold that despite my best efforts wasn’t getting better. We went to the vet and started a course of Baytril and an antihistamine, after a week of no improvement we started a course of Clindamyicin, Interferon and nose drops. Still, there was no improvement, in fact it started getting worse. After beginning another course of antibiotics in conjunction with Loratidine his appetite went to hell- par for the course when dealing with advance stage FeLV. Late friday/early Saturday he stopped eating all together, late Sunday night his breathing became even more labored.

Yesterday we went to the vet.

Today I am mourning the loss of my little white and grey fluff ball.