1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. What is it?
Cooter Wilber Jones
2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead.
Matthew Porretta & Vin Diesel & Nic Cage & Johnny Depp & Bruce Campbell & The guy who invented K-Y &....
3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band?
“The Boondogglers” or “Hootie and the Blowfish 2” I believe in democracy, I’d let the rest of the band vote on it.
4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What would it be?
"God’s Guffaw" or "If found, please return"
5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
The Song That Never Ends
6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?
7. You are leaving your country, where would you move?
Two weeks from anywhere
8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?
9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?
Kung Pow: Enter The Fist
10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?
Mocking Bird, Stink Bug, Elephant
11. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you like to relive?
12. Which year(s) would you least like to relive?
87, 88, 89 and 90- four close family members died, one per year. My childhood fucking sucked because of that.
13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
The 60’s so I could warn my dad
14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.
Deep sea diving
15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
The Big Bopper
16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
The Gong Show
17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?
18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?
The “N” word, I’m fucking sick of it!
19. You can have 100 million dollars tax-free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?
20. There is no number 20.
Labels: Shit I've Jacked