Guys Gone Wild!

Have you see these retarded commercials? I knew the world was in bad shape but shit, I didn't know we were this bad off!

Hmm, it's a Friday night. I'm a chick and I have nothing to do. Oh fret, what ever shall I do? I've Got It! I'll sit here in front of the T.V. and watch a bunch of hairy sacs bounce around. Yeah! That'll turn me on! Big, hairy, floppity, creepy looking sacs.

See here's the thing, I'd have to say on average, women are imaginative enough to not need hairy bouncing sacs floppin' around on their televisions. No offense to the guys out there that can't "function" or "function happily" without the aid of Girls Gone Wild.

To the people that buy that stupid shit here's a concept for you; take a class at your local community college on creative/independent thinking. Or better yet, buy a fuckin' book. You know, the kind without pictures. I mean come on ladies, lets raise the bar a little for crying out loud! This shit should be featured on Animal Planet, and it should be aired backed against apes throwing feces at each other.

I don't mind saying it, "Screw you, producers of stupid shit! Screw you for thinking I'm retarded. Screw you for thinking all it takes to get my engine started is a goofy, saggy sac or two bouncing down the beach. You have grossly underestimated this set of ovaries!"

Just on G.P. I hope all of the guys on that video get testicular torsion. Now that would be worth watching! "Testicles Gone Wild!" or "When Testicles Attack!" that's what I'd call it! And I'd feature it on all of the chick channels; We and LRW and Oxygen and LMN and Lifetime!