Film Therapy

I wield my video rental card, I am renter! The movies I rented claw and fight over which one will enter the holy DVD player first. I am humbled by their eager desire to entertain me and liven my spirit.

Blah, blah, blah

Okay so I rented some ass kicking, sword wielding, gun toting Japanese flicks. I’m feeling the depression lift just thinking about them. Ever see the movie Versus? Best film on the planet. Why? Because its got zombies going postal,…. with swords.... and guns.... and ass kicking martial arts!!! It’s funny as hell with the English dub; the one liners are beyond priceless! The fight sequences are stunning (especially when one guy gets his head kicked off) and did I mention it’s really funny? What could possibly make all of this any better? The director (Ryuhei Kitamura) used the Lion King (yep, you read that right), Evil Dead and Highlander as inspiration in his film style (ie; lighting, camera angle, scene set ups/shots). He was inspired by Raimi with a hint of Romero. Pure effing genius people. It’s a visual shock opera! You MUST see it! I think I’m going to have a filmgasim just talking about it. I digress.

So I’ve got:

“The Ultimate Versus”
What’s the difference between the one I rented and the one I own? 10 honking ass kicking minutes! 10 more minutes of brilliance.

“Azumi”
I expect this to be just as satisfying to the palette. Why? Cause it’s made by the director of Versus! Yeah, baby!!!

“Azumi 2”
I’m not expecting as much from this one. I never hold high expectations from sequels. But still…chick with a sword goes postal.

Then two Takeshi Kitano films:

“The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi”
Hello, he’s blind and he has a sword.

And “Sonatine”
Word has it this is like a Japanese “Goodfellas” type film.


Hi, my name is Aza, I’ll be fucking you up with my sharp cutlery and boomstick now. And I might even do it with my eyes closed!