On hangovers and reflections
And now back to my regular programming…
Upon waking I slung my legs over the edge of the bed (they felt heaver than usual) and straightened my “chicken poop” tee shirt. Bleary eyed I stumbled into the bathroom intentionally avoiding my reflection in the mirror as I walked by. The only reflection I was intent on was last night’s playing pool, trivia and drinks. The shitty music in the juke, made me insist on playing ten dollars worth of my favorites and watching everyone’s face change when a rompin’ Hank Williams tune some guy at the bar proudly and loudly proclaimed he’d chosen earlier changed into Bill Withers “Ain’t No Sunshine”. Ah, my first song! The next hour should be interesting. Bill turned into Alice in Chains which turned into BB King which turned into Poe which turned into Bob Marley which turned into The Cult which turned into a lot of obscure music no one there had ever heard and so on. I kept getting asked “This is great, who is this?” or getting told “You’ve got eclectic tastes!” After the fifth person walked up, tried to put quarters on the pool table and was politely told I was playing solo, I think my position was made clear. I just wanted to play some pool, listen to anything but what the ’regulars’ were cranking out of the juke and be left the fuck alone.
My thoughts moved to Whore-Hey as I realized that I was standing in front of the mirror now. I was more than surprised to see I didn’t look the way I felt. The make-up from last night was still neatly in place on my unwashed face, my hair (which I usually tie back before bed) was untangled and fell smoothly down my back. I wasn’t sick to my stomach and my head didn’t hurt. But I felt/el sick and hollow. Why was I expecting to see Tim Curry from the Rocky Horror Picture Show staring back at me? Why did I feel guilty for not having a headache or sour stomach? I thought such an image looking back at me would be quite fitting or at least interesting. Nope, just me. Standing there, feeling sick, knowing no amount of pepto will quell it and no amount of soap will wash it off. Pepto and soap work on the exterior, you know. Just me staring, trying to figure out what therapy will consist of today. I briefly considered taking the fifty dollars I will spend on the co-pay out of my wallet and flushing it down the toilet.
Upon waking I slung my legs over the edge of the bed (they felt heaver than usual) and straightened my “chicken poop” tee shirt. Bleary eyed I stumbled into the bathroom intentionally avoiding my reflection in the mirror as I walked by. The only reflection I was intent on was last night’s playing pool, trivia and drinks. The shitty music in the juke, made me insist on playing ten dollars worth of my favorites and watching everyone’s face change when a rompin’ Hank Williams tune some guy at the bar proudly and loudly proclaimed he’d chosen earlier changed into Bill Withers “Ain’t No Sunshine”. Ah, my first song! The next hour should be interesting. Bill turned into Alice in Chains which turned into BB King which turned into Poe which turned into Bob Marley which turned into The Cult which turned into a lot of obscure music no one there had ever heard and so on. I kept getting asked “This is great, who is this?” or getting told “You’ve got eclectic tastes!” After the fifth person walked up, tried to put quarters on the pool table and was politely told I was playing solo, I think my position was made clear. I just wanted to play some pool, listen to anything but what the ’regulars’ were cranking out of the juke and be left the fuck alone.
My thoughts moved to Whore-Hey as I realized that I was standing in front of the mirror now. I was more than surprised to see I didn’t look the way I felt. The make-up from last night was still neatly in place on my unwashed face, my hair (which I usually tie back before bed) was untangled and fell smoothly down my back. I wasn’t sick to my stomach and my head didn’t hurt. But I felt/el sick and hollow. Why was I expecting to see Tim Curry from the Rocky Horror Picture Show staring back at me? Why did I feel guilty for not having a headache or sour stomach? I thought such an image looking back at me would be quite fitting or at least interesting. Nope, just me. Standing there, feeling sick, knowing no amount of pepto will quell it and no amount of soap will wash it off. Pepto and soap work on the exterior, you know. Just me staring, trying to figure out what therapy will consist of today. I briefly considered taking the fifty dollars I will spend on the co-pay out of my wallet and flushing it down the toilet.
Labels: Just Another Stupid Story, My Psychosis
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1 Thoughts On The Subject
Note to self...'victory over oneself is the greatest of victories' (Plato).
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