How’s that for honesty?

So as most of you know I’m in therapy and for those of you who didn’t- I’m sure it was a ginormous shock. Anyway, a snippet from this past weeks session...


Me: *sigh* I’m just so not interested, ya know? I need some serious motivation.

Whore-Hey: What are you not interested in?

Me: What AM I interested in?

Whore-Hey: Try to give me an example.

Me: well, like I should probably go back to the gym. I mean, I’m paying a monthly membership and all.

Whore-Hey: You don’t want to lose weight?

Me: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Whore-Hey: No, no, no! What I meant was is weight loss one of your goals? Because you really don’t look like you need to lose any weight.

Me: Shut up.

Whore-Hey: Really now Aza.

Me: No, not to lose weight just to tone up and do some cardio. Now that I’m a nonsmoker I think I should do some cardio. Which brings me back full circle to my original point.

Whore-Hey: Which isn’t that your not interested it’s just that you aren’t motivated, right?

Me: Yeah, I’m not motivated. I already said that.

Whore-Hey: Okay

Me: Okay, so, I’m not paying you to stare at me and repeat what I say, motivate me to get back in the gym!

Whore-Hey: Your butt is getting big.

Me: *sigh* that was $50.00 well spent. You do realize that I’ve seriously injured people for saying things way less offensive to me than that, right?

Me (as I'm getting up to walk out): Oh and BTW, I know how much you hate it when we’re in the last 3 minutes of therapy and I drop a bomb in your lap but remind me to tell you next session about- My new tattoo, the dream where I bit D’s nose off, the dream about my grandparents that ended in me waking to a massive panic attack, the fight I got into with my dad, how much I hate your freaking socks and my sleep eating….m’kay?

Whore-Hey: Jesus Aza, I hate it when you do that!

Me: *grinning* Heh, yeah, me and my big butt know. Have a nice day, asshat.