What the fuck ever!

So I got my performance review back at work. For those of you who don’t know what that is- it’s a yearly assult upon your emotional anus review they make you perform on yourself. Basically you have to tell them how retarded you think you are and how much you think you suck at your job. Then they come back over what you wrote and review the review. I gotta tell ya, it’s one hell of a motivation builder!

I was off work that day but I made a special trip to the pharmacy to get it. I didn’t want to get it back while I was on the clock and have a giant panic attack in front of God and everybody because my superiors agree that I suck. That pretty much sums up my review of myself “I Aza, suck at my job and am a total retard. However, if there is one redeeming quality about me that should prevent my immediate dismissal it is that I make my coworkers and patients laugh. The end.”

It wasn’t what I expected at all. I walked in totally prepared to have my ass handed to me and received quite the opposite. I was told I have excellent patient/coworker relations (LOL!!!) and make the pharmacy a fun place to work. I’m skilled well beyond my pay grade and level of experience (ie, time on the job) and I’m an excellent trainer. I was all like “Yeah man, I rock!”.

So I asked my senior Rph what improvements needed to be made- he said I need to start taking on senior tech responsibilities. My response “Look, I’m state certified isn’t that enough? I mean really! If I’m not going to be paid as a senior tech why should I have to perform the responsibilities (which I do anyway)?” He also said (and I quote) “This isn’t just for you but we need to watch the use of profanity.”

What? Excuse me? Would you care to repeat that for me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.

I NEVER curse in front of patients or my Rph’s. EVER! It’s Princess, Military Wife and The 20 Year Old Boss that sound like fucking sailors! It’s fuck this and fuck that and fuck him and fuck her and fuck the fucking fuckers. That’s all I hear all day! Me? I go out of my fucking way not to curse at work (that’s what my fucking blog is for!). I use terms like the following; “Crum” or "Crud" instead of “Crap“, “Shnike” or "Poopie" instead of “Shit”, “God Bless America” instead of “Goddamnit!”, “Rats Rectum” instead of “Rats Ass”, “Son Of A Biscuit Eater” instead of “Son Of A Bitch”, “Fudge” or “Freak” instead of “Fuck”, you get the point. I guess he saw the total look of shock and surprise that hit my face like a brick- a look that said “What the fuck did you just say to me!?” because he looked back at me as if to say “Hey I know I shouldn’t even be mentioning this to you but I don’t want those sorry fuckers to feel singled out and picked on”. I looked at him as if to say “Fuck them! They should be singled out because they are the ones that do it and no, you shouldn’t be mentioning this to me.” What’d I do? I kept my mouth shut and didn't argue. Our conversation held within looks said everything that needed to be said.

Anyway, I got an awesome review. How’d my coworkers do? Fucked if I care, I rock!