An open letter to the Potential Deadbeat eBay Seller

Remember the “Strike and Awe Until I Get my Shit” (aka: "Holy Shit, This Bitch Is Crazy!") campaign? Remember how it had a happy ending?

I guess I should formally announce that I may very well be on eve of yet another “operation”.

I think I may call this campaign “Rain Hell, Havoc and Misery Down Upon the Deadbeat eBay Seller Until I Get my Shit!” Yeah, I know, it’s a little “wordy” but I feel this title truly captures the essence of the impending battle.

As with every major war it starts in peace talks. The below letter (sent early this morning) is my metaphoric version of going to the U.N. and airing my grievance. Should this idiot not respond within a reasonable period of time, the next letter will be my official declaration of war.



Dear Potential Deadbeat eBay Seller,

I am writing in regard to eBay item #blah blah blah. Paypal sent me an email on January 23rd (the same day the auction ended) confirming payment had been transferred from my account to yours in the amount of $18.45. Today is February 5th, 13 days since auction end, I am wondering what the status my order is; has it been shipped? Thank you for your time in this matter I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Preparing myself for war!